Stop the Sun

Still the night

If I could change this restless blindside longing,

Wouldn't I?

Oh I would

Last Waltz

          Hello everyone, been almost a month since I decided to update this with my boring life, but with, what I hope to be, interesting pictures. As it seems obvious, my hair changed again to the old red, which seems to please everyone. In the last weeks a lot has happened. Good and bad things happened. Last month on my last check up I was confronted with my body and mental health and the prognostic doesn't seem promising. Being threatened that If I don't gain health and become more "mentally stable" I will be institutionalized in some goddamn hospital makes me cringe. Although the idea of not having to worry about anything, being taken care of me and spending the day all doped out seems appealing, it's just not my style. I've met some amazing people since I moved in, some truly amazing people who I love to have a drink with, and just when I thought everything was going nicely, my anxiety decided to show up like "Surprise Motherfucka!" and fuck the all thing. I believe it was because I haven't take my meds, and worst, I've ran out of two for the past two weeks. Being on Socian and Sertralina for my depression derived from social anxiety, I was prescribed another two, Forticol and Arcalion, the first one being for psychic disorders(?) and the other for fatigue. I've ran out of Socian and Sertralina for almost 3 weeks and stopped taken Forticol and Arcalion last week, which I believe led to my meltdown. Worst of all is when you try to explain to people why you were such an idiot, and they look at you like you're trying to pull some bullshit. I guess it's hard to tell people "yes I am mentally ill", sort of". I never liked that term.

The meds I'm currently on

Another big happening was the breaking up between and my 7 year partner. Although at the begging it seemed right, I start to doubt my own thoughts, especially because of my condition. This is the guy that not only tolerates, but accepts that this is me. And with the passing days I start to remember why I fell in love with him in the first place. It's like I can see past his flaws, and it's only fair, since he saw past mine. By any chance am I saying "Hey everything is fine, oh you know..." but they seem better. I am, however, enjoying the single life of going out and having drinks. I guess it's a matter of finding balance.

The last few days to me have been so good, I've been feeling so happy that I seem to forget all my problems and concerns. I hope more like this will come in the future. I am also finishing this book, which was recommended to me, called A Sombra do Vento (The Shadow of the Wind) by Luis Ruiz Zafon. I can only read it in my way to and back to work, but oh lord, it has gotten me excited. 

Now on to the part that matters: The pictures, because lets all face it, no one reads shit this long.

I am very pleased with this set, I was in, what you could call, a fiery frail state when I took them. O have no idea if that translates into the pictures, but people always said everything is pretty obvious with my eyes so lets hope I succeed in that. In this set I decided to edit most of the pictures in colour and black and white, mainly because I'm training my black and white "technique"(look at me, talking like a pro) and I think it sets a different mood. Like two faced meaning. Or that I'm just an egocentric bitch who likes seeing herself looking all glammed up and shit, I don't know, you decide. 

I will not post them all on this post, and will release them in the next days, so I can have an excuse to update this, but I can tell I will leave the best for last.

So without further ado, I bid you all a very goodnight.

Polly

Rogue

The rest of the photos I took last week, these ones I think it lacks something but meh, I'm bored, so in egocentric way, what better way to entertain myself.

I have much to write and yet when I sit my ass down, nothing good comes out of it, just gibberish and nonsense. Oh how I miss the old days when writing was so natural to me, where words were an extension of my fingers.
So, in my cute (or so I like to think) awkwardness I bid you all a goodbye and goodnight. 

We are minor in everything but our passions

Dissolved Girl - Fragments II

 Cracking my back like an idiot

 ------

Something non-related with the picture

After taking this set of photos (I will post more later) I managed to fuck my camera up.. Decided to take some photos in water, I head down the hill (I have a video of that) and after spending a few minutes searching for a nice "lake", I stripped my ass down and jumped on it... Actually not jumped, as that shit was filled with cutting edge rocks and crabs.. yes crabs, and I'm pretty sure one bit  my ass.  Anyway, even with all the care I had not to get the camera wet, some drops got inside (only zeus knows how). I won't take it to get it fix because I'm pretty sure it will cost more than a new one, and that's what I'll get. A new, cheap one.  And that's it, the story on how the fucking camera died on me.. RIP little buddy, you served me well.